Elements of a Successful Marriage
Let’s talk about Marriage! Since the month of love and National Marriage Week just passed. I decided to open up the conversation and tackle some questions with the help of my husband. We discuss topics like when is the right time to get married, how you deal with temptations, do we actually complete one another, and so much more. So let’s just get into it 9 Elements of a Successful Marriage.
You can watch our full marriage conversation over on YouTube 👇🏽
How do you deal with temptations in a marriage?
In general, I feel like we are not blind 🙈. So I can recognize and acknowledge that there are other good-looking people in the world besides my husband. As long as we have respect and loyalty for another, I do not worry about it. Even though I see other good-looking men and he sees other beautiful women, we are not tempted because we love each other and commit to one another.
Wedding vs. Marriage
This needed a little clarification because sometimes people confuse having a successful wedding day with a successful marriage. And that couldn’t be furthest from the truth. A wedding is a moment in time, a special day for you to say ‘I DO’ in front of your friends and family. Unfortunately, some couples get wrapped up in having the perfect wedding day, and they forget to prepare for what comes after the honeymoon. Are you ready to spent the rest of your lives together? Have you discussed finances, kids, retirement, travel plans, chores, and the list goes on, but you get the idea?
You might also be interested in reading our Wedding Blogs
When is the best time or age to get married?
“Whenever you feel it’s right,” said my husband. And I agree! Don’t let society fool you or pressure you into their timeline of school, career, Marriage & kids all before you’re 30 years old. I was 29 when I met my husband and 33 when we got married. I am now 35, and we are still navigating this journey of ours based on what we want. Because it’s our story, not societies, and we are writing our own.
Marriage or Cohabitation?
I definitely think it’s a personal choice. Growing up, I never thought that I would live with a significant other before Marriage but guess what? Life had other plans for me. My husband and I moved in together a year after we started dating, and it was the right decision for us.
I learned through this journey that when people say, “Your first year of marriage is the hardest.” What they really mean is combining your life that first year is going to be difficult.
So before deciding on “cohabitation,” have all the conversations you would have if you were going to get married. Talk about your finances and your habits and chores, etcetera.
Your spouse is not going to complete you.
Sayings like “he’s my other half” or “he completes me” are not to be taken literally. Because no one can complete you!
If you are unhappy with who you are, your career, your body, anything like that. Your relationship will be affected because no one can give you SELF-LOVE.
You won’t always feel in love?
So I feel like there is a significant difference between LOVE and LIKE. Let me explain. I am head over heels for my husband. I will love him until infinity and beyond.
But I don’t always like him. Sometimes my husband does things that make me upset. And I know I do things that make him upset. And in those moments, we might not like each other, but loving each other always makes us fight fair and keep the respect we have for one another.
Know your partner’s finances
I know I’ve been dropping the word finances throughout this article. So let’s talk about it. Did you know that one of the leading causes of divorce is finances?
So I definitely recommend you have the financial talk before moving together and definitely before getting married and continue to periodically check-in with your partner throughout your relationship.
My number one tip is to open up a mutual bank account together when you move in together and decide how on an amount that you will be both be deposited every month and use that for all your mutual expenses like rent, groceries, etc.
Don’t call it quits right away.
When the going gets tough, don’t call it quits right away.
Many young married couples get divorced very soon — less than five years into their marriages. Today
I hear it all the time. It’s just too much work. I want something easy, And while I agree, for the most part, the reality is that nothing in life is easy.
Even the relationship that we have with ourselves is complicated and muddy, and it’s something that we have to figure out within ourselves. So why would you expect Marriage or a relationship to be easy?
We have to keep in mind that the “Perfect Instagram Couple” also has disagreements. They’re just not airing out their dirty laundry, and they shouldn’t.
Of course, if you are in an abusive relationship of any kind or not in love, then, of course, get out as quickly as you can. You need to protect yourself and not waste anybody’s time.
Love expression
Of course, we all want to feel love. But to receive it, we must give it.
And I think it’s important to mention the book The 5 Love Languages. It’s essential to learn each other’s love languages. Because if you like to show your love by giving gifts, but their love language is quality time, that expansive handbag you gave them means nothing to them.
For more on this topic, check out the book is a great resource.
Final thoughts on Marriage
I obviously believe in love and Marriage, but I also think that everyone has their own individual journey.
If you have any other questions about Marriage please feel free to leave them in the comments. I might just do another round on this topic.
And if you want to share your marriage wisdom with please leave those below as well.
Sweet Blessings,
Yaritza
